If Not For Her Beauty
If not for her Beauty, Mary would have been better known for her Wit, Faith, and Intellect.
Wit
Mary had a sharp, wonderful, fun sense of humor. She laughed at herself as often as she laughed at you or me.
Mary smiled easily, a dear gift to those near and precious to her.
Her wit was a cornerstone of her ability to enjoy life and revel in the adventures of those she loved.
When her laughter was happy, her eyes would glisten with joy and lightness.
likewise.
When she was upset, her eyes would reveal strength and fortitude.
Once, during a trip to visit my family, I sent her a text revealing my concern that the gathering would not bring out the best in me and that I would leave with regrets in my heart and amends to make on the horizon.
A TEXT to Mary – God, please help me to be the man Mary thinks I am
Response from Mary – God made you in his image. So there!
She responded that God made me in his image…so there! At once insightful, brief, and funny. Do you hear her saying?
Her insight revealed an understanding of my concern, coupled with a greater belief that the divinity within each of us is always there.
I loved her for that.
Faith
If not for her Beauty, Mary would have been better known for her faith…
Mary had deep faith, full of clarity and connection. Her faith was the type I admire the most … faith that displayed strength and compassion, contemplation and action, confidence and empathy. Hers was also a faith that she shared by living the example rather than promoting an agenda or a doctrine
I loved her for that.
In a note to me after our son William died, she wrote:
My precious friends, this is my favorite day in the church year, All Saints Day, and each year I remember and celebrate those who have meant the most to me. You have some fine company with my loved ones, and they with you.
For my dear William. I love you,
Mary
Intellect
If not for her beauty, she would have been better known for her keen intellect.
Her gift for and with words is well documented. Mary’s legendary penmanship adorned VES diplomas, social communication, and notes to loved ones. The artistry of each letter and the perfection of the spacing reveal her genius in this area.
I found equal wordsmith talent in her notes to me. Linking strong images and vivid action with brevity and clarity that C.S. Lewis would admire.
Her grasp of key elements of leadership and management served the VES heads of school and other leaders well if they were wise enough to avail themselves of her perspective.
She had a profound and nuanced understanding of the need for boldness and the requirement of modesty. This is a challenging tension to orchestrate. Her instincts in this area were strong.
Beauty
But you cannot shake the beauty.
So beautiful that some women resented it.
So beautiful that for the casual onlooker, it overshadowed her other gifts.
So beautiful that for those who loved her, it framed and augmented her significant gifts and talents.
So beautiful that when she looked at her loved ones, there was a radiance, like the warmth of the sun on a perfect beach day. That warmth came with a recognition and appreciation of our best selves through her eyes.
That was her great gift to me – that she always saw the best me there was to see…with hope and aspiration and appreciation.
For me, Mary will always be the prettiest girl in Virginia.
So there.
